In the Trenches
by francis2
Summary: Josef and Mick get into a fight. Anything more would spoil it. Written for Kylara after one of her great ideas.


**In the Trenches**

The slush, the miserable wetness around me, the grey weather. Sitting in a hole we dug ourselves with minimal help of inadequate tools, in this case the ice scraper from the car. The snow we dug out of the trench heaped to a low rampart that doesn't really cover us. Our counterparts only a couple of feet away have done the same, only with more effort and taking a lot more time to do it.

It all came back to me: This was just like back then in the Ardennes, the trenches where my best buddy lost a foot to frostbite. I tried to push that gruesome memory back into the recesses of my still sleep-addled brain, but it just pushed back.

Didn't help that we were attacked again, only this time it was Josef by my side. Still, all our vamp abilities didn't help us much now – except for that we weren't as cold as I had been back then, and a bit faster.

Ducking a volley I hurried to put together more ammunition. Josef grinned at me, then launched an attack to give me time to gather my bearings. He was positively glowing, proud of his suggestion that started all this. He said it would be fun to test ourselves in a fight. I wasn't so sure anymore that it was a good idea.

We weren't outnumbered, our opponents only two, humans at that, but their aim was surprisingly and embarrassingly good. I stretched over our makeshift rampart and tried to get a hit, but instead I was knocked into the chest by a well-timed missile. I went down, groaning.

„Come on, Mick. You're such a whiner. Help me over here. I need more ammunition." Josef wasn't one for having pity. His approach was to play the game as long as it was on. And he decided when it was on and when it wasn't. He played to win. I was mortified that he hadn't taken a single hit while I had been doused with strikes within a few minutes. Didn't help that I tried not to hit the other party.

I pulled myself up and helped him to gather more ammunition into our small refuge. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the others doing the same. A short ceasefire. Unexpected, but well-deserved.

Josef was in a chipper mood and didn't stop babbling. „You know, I once did something similar in Afghanistan. Only there we used camel dung. Wasn't so much fun to get that into your face, but I had a cloth to put over my nose and was fine. Maybe we should do this again some time, using horse manure. Today there aren't so many horses around anymore. Back then we had manure everywhere. Did you ever ride a horse?"

„Did you ever shut up?" I sighed.

„Spoil sport. Can't you just join into the fun? I should have brought Logan. He would have gone all Leeroy Jenkins by now. I wonder if his computer games help him with his aim in real life. Guess we'll never know, as he doesn't leave his basement."

„Yeah. Given that you hardly ever leave your office it's really a wonder you two ever met. I guess we were lucky to almost have a vampire apocalypse."

Josef scoffed and busied himself with his preparations for the next round of fighting. He looked at me with a „You're helpless"-expression, but didn't say anything.

I wondered if the humans wouldn't be seriously cold by now. Maybe Josef and I should split up, try to get them from both sides. I really wanted them to give up. I had no inclination of hurting them permanently only to make a point.

A short fantasy of taking Beth into my arms and sitting by the fire to warm up distracted me. Bam. Another volley reached me, and this time one of the missiles hit me square into the face.

The humans were having fun, and were more aggressive than I was used to. At least it wasn't silver, but the wetness on my cheek and the short stab of pain increased my foul mood.

„Hey, I've had enough. Let them think whatever they want. I need a drink."

Josef looked at me, incredulously, then smirking. „You want to give up? What about showing them how superior the vampire race is? What about making a point about us being the protectors, them being weak? You will never get Beth to stay in the car after this!"

„Okay, Josef, one more try. Let's heckle them and rub it in."

When there was another short truce I jumped over the rampart at vamp speed, cut a corner and was over them in an instant. Josef did the same from the other side. I tackled Beth and rubbed her face into the snow, then took handsful of the white cold substance and crammed it into her collar. She squeaked and squirmed, but she had no chance. I saw Josef dunking Simone, then spinning her around and holding her on the ground easily with one hand while he spread snow over her.

I had tried hard not to hit Beth when we had been throwing snow balls, but now I let go. It was so much fun to tickle her in the snow, to pin her down and steal a few kisses. But then she cried out and asked me to stop. It sounded kind of urgent, so I let her go.

She smirked, took a handful of snow and rubbed it into my face. Then she jumped up and got a few feet away. Of course she had no chance to really get away, as I caught her within seconds. Angry about being overpowered again she kicked the tree she was standing at, and the avalanche from the branches drenched us both. Beth laughed her ass off while trying to get her feet free.

Suddenly I didn't want to play anymore. Beth was shivering. Even I was wet and miserable, and the sun was still up and blinded me. We could be in a warm room by now, sipping on a drink, relaxing on the couch. I shouted over to the other party: „I'm going home. Who's gonna come with me?"

Beth and Simone squealed with glee.

Josef stood there, bedazzled, until Simone wrapped herself around him.

„You're giving up?" she asked, smiling.

„No. Never. I would have won, of course. We just don't want the weaklings to catch a cold."

„Oh. Of course." She started kissing Josef.

I turned around, a bit embarrassed. Beth took off her mittens and hugged me. Her hands pushed under my jacket, they were still a bit warm. Nice.

„So, what's with your discourse about vampires having lots of balls…"

I interrupted. „That was Josef's speech. I just wanna go home now."

She looked into my eyes, going all inquisitorial. „What happened?"

I smiled. I could keep nothing from her. „I suddenly remembered the war and just lost my mojo."

Her face fell. „I'm sorry. That wasn't my intent when I jumped onto Josef's proposal of a snowball fight."

„It's okay. Really. Let's go warm up." I put my arm around her waist and pulled her back towards the street.

„Will you warm me up in all the right places?" she asked, in a very low voice. Of course, Josef still heard. His head perked up. The pervert.

I chuckled. „I'll sure try."

Making our way back to the hotel, I didn't care a lot what Josef and Simone would do. I had a plan for tonight, and it involved balls of a different kind.


End file.
